Misplaced
by daflippnay
Summary: SG-1 ends up in a place not where they intended . . . SG-1/Buffy crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**Misplaced**

A/N: This is my first SG-1 fanfic, so I'd appreciate some pointers if things seem out of place.

* * *

"You have a go," General Hammond announced from the control room, giving SG-1 a nod.

Samantha Carter followed her CO into the stargate, Daniel and Teal'c following immediately behind her. She felt her heart slam into her throat as the wormhole suddenly propelled her upwards only to violently shoot her out. She gasped for breath as she threw her arms out in front of her, saving herself the misfortune of slamming her face right into the chevron panel of the stargate she and the rest of SG-1 were being deposited from.

Sam gasped as she felt herself being dragged back into the wormhole, and found herself desperately clinging to the surface of the stargate. It was then that she realized that this particular stargate was not standing upright but lying flat on the ground. She clambered out of the ring with some difficulty, hurrying to straighten herself as she heard the rest of her team being shot out of the wormhole.

O'Neill tumbled straight out of the ring, landing face down on the ground with a grunt. Daniel and Teal'c ended up clinging to the chevrons as she had, and she hurried to assist them. The stargate deactivated as soon as the archaeologist and the Jaffa landed safely on solid ground.

"Well, that was unexpected," Daniel said breathlessly, glancing around.

"I'll say," Jack huffed, getting to his feet and brushing dirt from the front of his BDUs.

Teal'c turned around to observe the stargate, raising an eyebrow at his findings. Sam did the same, hands on her hips as she approached it.

"That's strange," Sam murmured, placing a hand on a chevron. She frowned. "Where did the mobile analytic laboratory probe go if the stargate is recumbent?"

O'Neill shrugged. "Back from whence it came, I guess," he said, wryly.

"This is most unusual," Teal'c said, glancing into the ring. He placed his hand where there was now red stone and dirt in place of the glowing wormhole. "Perhaps this stargate is obsolete."

"We came through it, didn't we? Doesn't seem very obsolete to me."

Daniel walked a few feet forward, finding a DHD behind a natural rock alcove. The DHD panel was covered with a sheen of red dust, which gave him an idea of how 'obsolete' this stargate really was. "Looks as though it hasn't been used in a while," he remarked, signaling for his teammates to come around and look.

O'Neill took one look at the device before touching the first chevron for their address back home, watching with satisfaction as it glowed. He nodded at his team. "Alright, let's get back home."

"What?" Daniel said vehemently. "But we just got here."

"We've got no MALP. Who knows what's floating around in this air," the colonel said.

"Obviously oxygen if we're able to talk and breathe as we're doing now."

"General Hammond did give us a go, sir," Sam interjected. "It's apparent that the MALP did surface for at least an adequate amount of time to carry the necessary data back home. I'm certain that we'll be okay."

O'Neill made a face. "Captain, rarely have we ever gone through the stargate and ended up 'okay,' so don't blame me for being a little pessimistic here. Doesn't it even bug you that our usually right side up stargate is lying face down?"

"Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c cut in. As soon as everyone turned their attentions on him, he said, "If I am not mistaken, our surroundings are not identical to that of the image given to us by the probe."

Everyone's eyes widened as they did a double take.

"You're right," Sam said urgently. "There was some sort of vestibule on the screen, wasn't there?"

Daniel nodded, already beginning to dial in the rest of their home address."That_ is_ correct. I recall the image to have been something not unlike the anteroom to an atrium. We must've ended up someplace else."

"Like Mars," Jack said, swiping a hand over the red dust that inhabited the place.

The team heard the hum of the stargate as it began to dial home. The unstable energy shot up like a geyser, immediately destroying the ceiling of the rock alcove above SG-1's heads. Broken shards of rock began to fall over the ring, blocking their only way out.

"No wonder this stargate is obsolete," Jack groused as the rest of the room began to shudder. He grasped Sam by the arm, tugging her in the opposite direction of the stargate.

"Sir?" Sam asked, her voice breaking.

"We obviously can't make like those rocks and take a tumble into the stargate, Captain," he said, signaling for Teal'c and Daniel to follow after him.

They began to run as the room continued to shake, the light from Daniel's flashlight bouncing along the cave walls frenetically.

"I feel wind!" Sam cried, her voice hoarse. She pumped her legs harder, following the soft, humid breeze that blew against her face.

The floor of the cave began to incline, and SG-1 found themselves partially on their hands and knees, bounding upwards towards a yawning exit from whence moonlight spilled through.

The four of them darted out of the cave one by one, continuing to cover about a thousand feet before they sank to their knees. Sam turned her head in the direction of the cave, watching breathlessly as its mouth buckled in on itself.

"What now?" Daniel murmured.

O'Neill dug his hands into the sand beneath them as if realizing it for the first time. He surveyed their surroundings as a cool breeze swept through his hair.

"It appears we're on a beach of some kind," Teal'c commented.

Sam nodded. "Seems so. The air is salty."

Daniel continued to gaze in the direction of the cave, squinting his eyes against the sand particles assaulting his face. He pointed his flashlight in front of him, finding that the beam did nothing to penetrate the darkness.

"Alright," Jack said with a sigh. "Time for a bit of a field trip. Buddy up and let's go."

They stood to their feet, Jack and Teal'c up front while Sam and Daniel brought up the rear. They trudged through the sand, ending up where they'd been last. Teal'c and Jack were skimming the wall of broken rock when Daniel piped up, "Wait a sec."

"Find anything interesting, Danny?" Jack asked, grimacing as he found that the rocks were piled up and packed tightly.

"Yeah, actually," the archaeologist said, his voice hushed. "Shh! Listen."

The team members of SG-1 grew quiet. There was the sound of crashing waves in the distance, but more than that . . .

"I hear it!" Sam whispered with hushed urgency.

"I do not hear anything out of the ordinary," Teal'c said.

"That's because what we're hearing _isn't_ out of the ordinary," Daniel said, pointing past the cave. "I hear cars — or at least vehicles — moving. There might be a road out there."

O'Neill nodded his approval. "Let's go."

SG-1 circled the perimeter of the cave, finding behind it dunes and tall grasses. And beyond that, a stretch of inky black road.

"That looks like asphalt," Sam said.

"Let's watch for another vehicle," Jack said. "If it happens to be a one way street, we'll know where to walk towards. If not, we could stop someone, maybe ask where the nearest town is."

Sam made her way towards the edge of the road, looking to the left and right of her. It was moments later did she find two oncoming headlights zooming towards her to her left. She backed up some and stuck her thumb out as soon as the light of the vehicle's high beams swept over her.

The vehicle — an SUV, to be precise — slowed to a stop a few feet ahead of her. She walked the short distance, offering a friendly smile as the passenger door window rolled down.

"Hi there," Sam greeted the young girl in the window. "Uh, we're a bit lost . . . "

The girl took in Sam's fatigues, and then looked beyond her at Teal'c, Daniel, and O'Neill. "You _look_ lost," she remarked.

"What's the nearest town?" Jack asked, stepping forward.

"San Mateo," the girl replied. "It's pretty far off, though. We're just off the coast."

"Off the coast of where?" Daniel asked, blushing when O'Neill glared at him. "Um, we don't do this hitchhiking thing often."

The girl glanced at the driver — another young girl — who gave them a warm smile.

"Off Martins Beach," she said. "We're on 92. If you want, we can get you to the nearest gas station. Maybe you could call up your folks or a taxi service. . . "

"That would be helpful, thank you," Sam said.

The girl in the passenger's side hopped out of the car to open the back door for them. Daniel and Jack clambered into the third row while Sam and Teal'c occupied the middle seats.

"I'm Sam," the captain said. "These are my friends Teal'c, Jack O'Neill, and Daniel Jackson."

"I'm Dawn," the girl in the passenger's seat said with a smile. "This is my friend, Janice."

"So, I'm guessing you're not from around here," O'Neill said as Janice pulled back onto the road.

"No, we're from Sunnydale," Janice said. "My boyfriend just graduated from high school and he and a bunch of our other friends had a bonfire at Martins Beach."

"Sweet," the colonel muttered, glancing at Daniel pointedly.

"Uh, the only Sunny_vale_ I know of is in California, Jack," Daniel said, keeping his voice low.

The colonel's eyebrows found their way to the middle of his forehead. "California," he deadpanned.

Dawn turned around, frowning thoughtfully at them. "You're . . . really not from around here, are you?"

Sam gave her a cheerful grin. "No, not really."

"Maybe we could take you back home with us," she said. "My sister and her friends are really nice. Maybe they could help with . . . whatever you need help with."

Jack tried his best to look innocuous. "What makes you think we need help with anything?"

Dawn gave their fatigues and armory a pointed look. "There aren't any paintball ranges here for miles, and it isn't likely that anyone who can afford paintball gear would need to hitchhike anywhere."

"Brilliant deductions," O'Neill said with a defeated sigh. "Alright. Take me to your leader."

Dawn and Janice exchanged suspicious looks with one another before directing their eyes back onto the road.

"You in the military?" Dawn asked. "Is your base around here or something?"

Jack nodded slowly. "Or something."

The girl gave them a sheepish smile. "Sorry. You're probably not allowed to show and tell."

"Not really, no," Sam chuckled.

It was about forty minutes in did they roll up onto a ramp. Dawn glanced at the digital clock on the dashboard. It read 2:46.

"Crap, Buffy's going to _kill me_," Dawn groused.

"Our presence will probably soften the blow, some," Daniel remarked, sounding amused.

Janice turned onto Revello Drive, stopping in front of a two floor house shrouded by a cluster of trees. Just off the pathway to the porch was a tall California fan palm. The lights on the first floor were on.

"Good luck," Janice said with a snort.

"Yeah, thanks," Dawn said with an eye roll, hopping out and sliding open the back door for their hitchhikers.

"Dawnie, do you know what time it is?" a petite blonde demanded as soon as the young girl reached the door.

The teenager pointedly looked at her cell phone. "It's 2:58."

"In the _morning_," she huffed. She looked past her at the four figures standing in front of the porch steps. "Who are they?"

Dawn grinned. "Buffy, these are some hitchhikers we picked up."

Buffy glared hard at the younger girl. "You do know that you're setting yourself up for a grounding?"

"Ah, I remember those years," Jack said with a pleasant smile, cradling his semi-rifle to his torso in a relaxed manner. "Sorry to intrude. You could just call up a taxi service if you want."

The petite blonde gave he and the rest of his team a pensive frown. "Pretty sure a taxi driver won't let you take _those_ into a cab," she said tiredly. "If you could wait until morning, I can have someone give you a ride to a hotel or something."

Jack grinned. "Yeah, because hotels will be even more receptive to guests holding ammunition."

"We could bury them, Colonel," Sam suggested. "Come back for it later as soon as we find a way home."

"Where is home, exactly?" Dawn asked.

"Well," Daniel murmured, "I get the impression that we're far, far away."

"There's a chance that we're still on Earth, sir," Sam said, coming close to the colonel with her voice lowered.

"Yeah, and that chance is very slim. Although honestly, I've always considered California to be an alternate dimension altogether," Jack murmured, his eyebrows raised.

"Look, you guys can come in," Buffy said wearily, motioning towards the open door. "I have an extra room, and then there's the couch and a cot in the basement."

"That will suffice. I do not sleep," Teal'c said with a nod.

At Buffy and Dawn's weird looks, O'Neill cleared his throat and gave them a broad smile. "Thanks, girls. We owe you one."

They entered the house, and Jack and his team loitered in the living room.

"Carter can have the extra room. It's safe to say that Daniel's the least threatening of us all, so perhaps you can stay on the couch."

"Least threatening?" Buffy asked guardedly, giving them a piercing look.

"Okay, bad choice of wording," Jack said, smiling when nothing came to mind.

"What he probably means to say is that I _look _less threatening, and if anyone were to see me sleeping on your couch, I wouldn't cause as much alarm as they would." It suddenly dawned on him how Jack was describing him as, and he shot the colonel a skeptical look. "Jack, do you really — "

_"Really _not helping," she remarked.

Jack directed his kind smile onto the archaeologist, although he seemed to be pinning him with it. "Daniel," he said warningly.

"I'd say this is weird, but then things are always weird around here," Dawn remarked, shaking her head and making her way up the stairs.

Jack pointed up the stairs, glancing at Buffy. "Um, what exactly did she mean by that?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This story takes place sometime during season six of Buffy, and mid-season three of Stargate SG-1 because that's what I'm up to in the series, LOL.

* * *

"Are any of you hungry?" Buffy asked, stepping into the living room. "I could make eggs. It's technically breakfast."

"We can wait until morning," Sam said with a polite smile.

The petite blonde shrugged. "I'm used to these hours, so if you need anything . . . "

"Thanks," Sam said. She watched the younger girl walk into the dining room before turning back to her teammates. "This whole place is mind-boggling. First of all, there isn't supposed to be a stargate in California."

"Unless it is something we have not been notified of," Teal'c added.

"Yeah, well, there's a big chance that that stargate is no more," O'Neill said, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Daniel pursed his lips. "I've been thinking of what you said before, Jack. What if we _are_ in an alternate dimension? This could be some spectral layer of Earth that no one's ever found before!"

"A spectral layer of Earth that's conveniently dubbed 'California'?" the colonel said, sounding skeptical. "C'mon, I'm sure if anyone had the power or the resources to create an alternate dimension, I _really_ doubt they'd name it after something else."

"Unless it's a doppelganger of sorts," Sam said, her eyes wide. "This could be some kind of mirror dimension."

"It is possible," the Jaffa said.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Guys, we go through a wormhole on a pretty frequent basis. I think the list of things that we consider '_im_possible' is getting slimmer and slimmer by the nanosecond."

"Uh," Buffy said, immediately catching their attention. Four pairs of wide eyes turned on her. "Either you guys are _completely_ out of this world or you're part of like, Heaven's Gate or something."

"Couldn't be the latter," Jack said with a wavering grin. "Don't have the proper footwear."

The blonde crossed her arms to her chest and even managed to look intimidating. "What's going on here?"

"Uh, just trying to find our way home," Daniel said cautiously.

"And where might 'home' be?" Buffy pressed, raising her eyebrows at them.

"Colorado," Sam said.

She shook her head. "I'm not buying it."

"Look, if you're uncomfortable with us being here, we can leave," Daniel said.

"You seem like you're swell . . . people," Buffy said, glancing at each and every one of their faces. "And I'm not averse to helping you, but I'd need to know more if I can."

"We're _really_ not from around here," Sam said.

"It's an understatement, really," Jack piped up.

"Try me. I've seen some pretty freaky things around here. I don't think many things can weird me out anymore."

"We're not at liberty to discuss, well, _most _of what we do," Sam said, "but . . . the Colorado we know is a much difference place than the Colorado you probably do."

Buffy raised her perfectly arched eyebrows. "What? Is it on another planet or something?"

"Try another plane," Daniel explained. "Like an alternate dimension. But it's difficult to elaborate on how we got here exactly, especially since there's a probability that it's been destroyed."

"Destroyed," the younger girl reiterated.

"Yeah," Sam said. "There was a . . . seismic wave. We were in a cave, and it collapsed in on itself."

"And you were near Martins Beach?" Buffy asked, sounding startled.

"I believe so. That is where Dawn said she went for a bonfire of sorts," Teal'c answered.

"That's . . . weird," she said with a frown. "Nothing really unusual ever happens outside of this town." Her frown deepened. "Oooh, and Dawn is so grounded!"

"Wait, outside of this town?" Daniel said. "Why? What's wrong with this town?"

Buffy laughed. "That is a loaded question." She shook her head. "Believe it or not, it's on top of a hellmouth."

"A who-what?" Jack asked.

"Hellmouth," Buffy repeated. "It's not very easy to explain, but it's pretty much a large area that attracts lots and lots of bad things."

Everyone started at the sound of knocking at the front door.

"Speak of the devil," Buffy muttered under her breath, opening it.

"Find Dawn?" a masculine voice asked, his British accent heavily evident. A man with peroxide blond hair sauntered in.

"Yeah, she just got home a couple of minutes ago," Buffy sighed, waving a hand towards the stairs.

His eyes locked onto the faces of SG-1. "Don't tell me white bread's back," he said, sounding none too pleased.

"Spike, his name is _Riley_, and no, he isn't."

The blond man continued to stare at them. "Then who are these wholesome folks?"

"I'm Jack," the colonel said, getting to his feet and offering his hand. "This is Captain Sam Carter, that's Teal'c, and this is our archeologist and linguist, Daniel Jackson." He flinched as Spike took his hand and gave it a shake, frowning.

"I'm a vampire," Spike explained.

"Right . . . " Jack trailed off, releasing the other man's cold hand.

Spike's face suddenly contorted, the skin between his brows hardened and his gaping mouth full of sharp, elongated teeth. The team members of SG-1 flinched in surprise.

"Now I've seen it all," Jack muttered, looking pale and a little shaken.

Teal'c was observing the vampire as he transformed his face into more humanoid features. He glanced at Buffy. "Is he hostile?"

The blonde sighed. "He's not. You don't need to be on your guard."

"I find that hard to believe," Jack snorted. "Are you like him?"

"I'm not," Buffy said, almost defensively. "I'm . . . a bounty hunter of sorts. They call me the Slayer."

"Then why is it you have not slayed him?" Teal'c asked, raising his eyebrow at Spike.

"It's a long story," she muttered.

"Hey, there are exceptions to every rule," Spike said, taking offense.

Teal'c regarded him quietly. Daniel walked up to the vampire with rekindled curiosity, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"That's amazing. Vampires exist on this plane. And to think, despite all of the countless races that may be inhabiting Earth and all the potential ones we may run into through the stargate, there are alternate realities that hold creatures that we still consider to be a criterion of myth and folklore."

Spike stared at him incredulously. "This bloke is off his rocker."

"Yeah, it's best that you don't eat him. It's pretty contagious," Jack drawled, placing a hand on Daniel's shoulder and gently easing him away from the blond vampire.

"Tell me, were you born with this condition? Is blood the essential life force like in the myths?" Daniel prodded on.

The vampire scratched his head. "Um, I wouldn't call it a 'condition,' per se . . . " His face split into a wide grin. "But if you'd like, I can give you a demonstration, firsthand."

Daniel beamed on reflex. "That would be great!" Then it dawned on him just what Spike was implying, and a look of stark horror crossed over his features. "Wait . . . No, it'd probably be best if you didn't."

Buffy rolled her eyes as the members of SG-1 tensed. "Don't mind him. He does a lot of feather-ruffling around here."

"Spoil my fun, Slayer," Spike huffed, taking a seat on the couch and reaching for the remote.

The Slayer blocked his view of the television, hands on her hips. "Dawn's home. You can leave now."

He waggled his eyebrows, propping his mud-caked boots on the coffee table. "Aw, but I was getting so comfy, Slayer. Now come on over here so we can get comfier."

"Don't make me stake you, Spike. I have a vacuum and I'm not afraid to use it."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Do you two need a little privacy?"

Buffy cried, "No!" at the same time Spike leered at her, the tip of his tongue curled against his teeth. "Spike!" she yelled, exasperated. "Out!"

"Alright then," Spike said with a put-upon sigh. He stood and headed out the front door. "I'll be waiting for you out back."

The Slayer gave an unladylike snort, slamming the door behind him. She turned around to face her guests, a cheerful grin superimposed on her lips. "So, blankets? Towels?"

Jack grinned, raising his index finger. "I'll have one of each, please."

Daniel's eyebrows shot up as the petite blonde disappeared up the stairs. "That's . . . ironic, really."

"What is, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked.

Daniel grinned. "If I'm not mistaken, the Slayer and the vampire were _flirting_. Two mortal enemies . . . It's a bit romantic, really."

The colonel rolled his eyes. "Daniel, what did I say about reading smut before bed?"

* * *

"Hello," Jack said, biting into an apple.

Sam smiled as she made her way into the kitchen, taking a seat in front of her CO at the kitchen island. "'Morning, sir."

"Sleep well, Captain?"

"Considering the circumstances, yes. And you, sir?"

Jack made a show of rolling his eyes, grinning. "Could've been better. Teal'c kept talking in his Kel'no'reem."

She chuckled. "Any word from the girls?"

"Dawn works a summer job with a guy who might be able to help us. Looks like it's 'Bring Your Guests From Another Dimension To Work Day.'"

The girl in question walked into the kitchen, giggling.

Jack narrowed his eyes. "You, there! What's so funny?"

Dawn shook her head, opening the refrigerator door and grabbing a carton of orange juice. "Nothing," she said with a smile, looking at Sam. "It's just funny watching you call him 'sir' in my sister's unicorn-patterned pajama pants."

The colonel glanced down at Sam's attire, raising his eyebrows. "You're out of uniform, Captain."

* * *

An hour or so later, a bespectacled British man named Giles came around in his weathered Citroën to give SG-1 a ride to the shop. Teal'c sat up front while Daniel, Jack, and Sam piled into the backseat. Giles drove into a small shopping district, parking in front of an outlet store called _The Magic Box_. Buffy parked her SUV close behind, the two sisters stepping out of their vehicle and entering the shop.

"This is most unusual," Giles remarked after the team briefed him on the matter, cleaning his glasses and squinting at their new guests. "Alternate dimension, you say?"

Jack nodded. "We do say."

"By what means were you transported here?"

Daniel and Sam trained their gazes on Jack. He glanced back at them, clearing his throat.

"Well, that's a bit confidential . . . "

"Jack, we really need to get back home. I doubt there's any real harm in telling them what they need to know, especially if it's going to aid us," Daniel told him.

Jack readjusted the cap on his head, nodding.

"Mr. Giles, in our world, we work for a military-funded organization called the Stargate Command. We use a type of portal — or wormhole, as we call it — that allows us to travel instantaneously to different parts of the galaxy for exploratory purposes," Sam explained.

Giles blinked.

Dawn beamed. "That's _so_ cool!"

Jack grinned back. "It is pretty sweet."

"I don't understand," Giles interjected, "if you're transported to different parts of the galaxy, then why is it you've ended up here?"

"That, we can't be sure of," Teal'c replied.

"Yeah, on very rare occasions, the wormhole — we call it a stargate — malfunctions, sometimes bouncing us off to destinations we hadn't intended to go, and at one point, we were sent back to the year 1969 due to some sort of interference caused by a solar flare," Daniel piped up. "This is the first time it has ever sent us to an alternate dimension, though. Actually, that's theoretical. It could be that we're still on our own plane, but it was easy to jump to the former conclusion when we were introduced to Spike, the vampire."

Jack smirked. "Yeah. We don't have any of those in Colorado."

Giles cleared his throat. "This . . . organization you speak of sounds very risky."

The colonel nodded. "Ohh, yeah. With a capital R. We manage to stir up a lot of trouble, too."

"And these places that you visit . . . They're planets?" Buffy asked, in awe.

"Yes," Daniel said enthusiastically.

"And they're inhabitable?" Giles asked, his interest peaked as well.

"Yes," Sam said. "The race who made the stargate — called the Asgard — were beings that were not unlike ourselves physiologically. When they created these transportation devices, they selected worlds that were ideal in terms of climate and atmosphere. Thus, most of the worlds that we've explored so far have been completely inhabitable."

"Exhibit A: Teal'c," Jack said, nodding at the Jaffa. "We found him in another world that had a similar environment to that of Earth. Oxygen, trees . . ."

"Indeed," Teal'c said, giving a nod. "I am from the planet, Chu'lak."

"That's . . . amazing," Giles said. "And you say there is a . . . what did you call it — stargate — here?"

"We're afraid it might have perished," Teal'c replied.

"Yes, when the stargate activates, there is a few stray seconds where the wormhole emits unstable energy," Sam said. "This energy is called naquadah. Stargates are circular — they look like enormous metal rings — and are usually standing upright with the help of specially designed docks. But the stargate that we passed through to go to your world was lying flat down, and the unstable energy shot up like a geyser and ripped a hole in the ceiling of the cave it was located at."

"Carter's known for being a bit wordy, but the point of what she's saying is that our only way home is covered in tons of rock and is possibly dilapidated to the point of being unrecognizable," Jack interjected.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wait a minute," Dawn said suddenly. Everyone turned their attentions on her.

"I've got two," Jack said cheerfully. "Actually, more than two, now that I think of it . . . "

"You said that you came out of a cave off the coast of Martins Beach," the younger girl said slowly.

"Yeah? And?"

Dawn glanced at Buffy, and then at their new guests. "There are no caves on Martins Beach."

Jack blinked. "If I recall correctly, I do remember pounds and pounds of giant rock raining down on us."

"You do recall correctly, O'Neill," Teal'c deadpanned. "You are not mistaken."

"Ah, Teal'c, he was being sarcas . . . Never mind," Daniel sighed, sitting back in his seat.

The bell above the shop door chimed, alerting everyone in the room to the arrival of three young women and a dark haired man. Each donned inquisitive stares as their gazes settled on the new faces occupying their usual table.

"Good morning," Giles greeted them.

"'Morning," the dark haired man said, eying SG-1 suspiciously. "I get the feeling I'm missing something."

"We have a couple guests staying with us for an indeterminate length of time," Giles replied. "Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill and his squad."

"Colonel Jack O'Neill," Xander greeted with a nod. He glanced at the others. "Squad."

"Howdy," the colonel said with a tip of his baseball cap. "This is my second in command, Captain Sam Carter, our whiz kid, Daniel Jackson, and our pillar of strength, Teal'c."

"Ooh, I think I read this comic," Xander joked good-naturedly.

Willow gave a polite smile. "So, what brings you to our parts?" she asked.

"Yes, have you come to make a purchase? Because I'm afraid you can't loiter here unless you intend to buy something," Anya piped up.

"Ahn!" Xander hissed, gently nudging her with his elbow. "Giles said they're guests!"

Anya glanced at them again, looking hopeful. "Guests with money?"

Sam gave her a wry smile. "Afraid not."

"Everyone, Colonel Jack O'Neill and his team are theoretically from an alternate dimension," Giles announced conversationally, much to SG-1's surprise.

Daniel frowned. "I'm sorry, but should you be sharing our information so freely?"

"Oh, it's okay," Buffy said. "These are my friends. We might be able to help you."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Quite the welcome wagon we've got here," he remarked.

"You might find our group a little strange," Willow said, offering them a small smile.

"How do you reckon that?" the colonel deadpanned.

The redhead gently laid a hand on Tara's shoulder. "Well, Tara and I are witches. Well, Wiccans, if you want to be politically correct."

Jack's eyebrows shot a little bit higher on his forehead. "Wasn't sure witches were involved in anything political, but okay."

"And I used to be a vengeance demon, but I was turned into a human," Anya piped up.

"Vengeance demon?" Sam reiterated, the space between her brows creasing in befuddlement.

"What nature of vengeance do you exact?" Teal'c asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Did exact," Anya corrected him. "My powers were taken away when I became mortal. I used to exact vengeance on men."

"I'm sorry, but did you say you were witches?" Daniel said, standing from his chair. He paused and frowned, lifting his pointer finger. "Okay, I think it's safe to say that since last night, I've been in a very deep stage of stunned silence. And . . . I think it's safe to say that it's been pretty much lifted."

"Same goes for me, I think," Sam said hesitantly.

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed, sinking into his chair in defeat. "Oh, great. Here goes."

"Jack, you're not in the least bit curious about this place?" Daniel asked, shifting his gaze onto the colonel. "I-It could be another realm, entirely. Think back to Intro to Philosophy, Jack! That's how far this whole . . . _phenomenon _may reach!" He grinned slowly, his excitement emanating in waves.

"Hi! I'm Jack O'Neill! Have we met?" the colonel said, irritated. "I'm not exactly a spiritual person. Hell, I'm pretty sure I slept through my Philosophy class. All three of them."

"No, wait, sir," Sam interrupted. "Daniel _does_ have a point. Philosophy was deeply rooted in the concepts of reality and the spectrum of ways it could and couldn't be defined. And I'm not saying that the first or even the second alternate realities — the first where Daniel visited and the second where my and Kawalsky's double escaped from — weren't as equally profound. They were!"

"Yes, but this is _different_," Daniel went on enthusiastically as Jack rolled his eyes and sighed again. "They might not even have Goa'uld!"

"Your deductions still do not explain the stargate," Teal'c cut in.

Jack threw up his hands. "That's what I'm talking about!"

Sam frowned. "But sir, you didn't say anything about — "

He glared at his second in command, and she immediately snapped her jaw shut. "I'm _saying_ that I'm more concerned about finding a way home than all this mythical mumbo jumbo you two are interested in."

"I am interested in it, too, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"Ack!" Jack said, flailing. "Not you, too!"

"Indeed," the Jaffa said with an inclination of his head. "I am interested in whether the Goa'uld have touched these parts."

"I-I'm sorry," Giles cut in. "Goa'uld, did you say?"

"Yes," Teal'c replied. "They are of another race."

"By another race, do you mean 'alien'?" Buffy said, immediately wincing. "I don't mean to sound like an intergalactic bigot, but . . . "

"It would seem that 'alien' would be a more appropriate word for them," Daniel said. "They are a parasitic race."

"They attach themselves to species bigger than themselves, such as humans," the Jaffa said.

"They form a symbiotic relationship, though that's hardly what it can be called," Sam put in. "In their attachment to the spinal cord, they can control their hosts, whom they see as slaves."

"I, too, carry a symbiote," Teal'c said.

"Woah," Xander said, blinking. "You're not gonna go all slave driver on us, are you?" he asked, gesticulating a whipping motion.

"I will not," the Jaffa replied.

"So . . . It's in your brain?" Tara asked meekly.

"I am a Jaffa. The process in which I received the symbiote differs from how the Goa'uld take hosts. I am considered to be a warrior, not a slave. Thus, my symbiote has been inserted in my abdomen as a larva and resides there. It aids in the healing process of my wounds and whatever ailments I may receive."

"I don't understand," Giles said. "Why is it that you are not susceptible to the . . . Goa'uld?"

"From a very young age, a hatred for the Goa'uld has been bred within me. I was taught by a Jaffa who, in time, seeks to lead in the resistance."

"And why would they be interested in our world?" Buffy asked, narrowing her eyes.

"That, I am not certain of," Teal'c said pensively.

"We don't even know if they've touched these parts. But with the presence of the stargate, it's very possible," Sam said.

"Now, about those vampires . . . " Daniel began.

"Ah-ah!" Jack exclaimed, shaking a finger at him.

"But Jack!" the archaeologist protested, almost petulantly.

"Sir, this could be very useful information," Sam said.

"Yeah, for potential bedtime stories, maybe!" Jack snapped.

"You should know how skeptical I am of things that aren't tangible. But you saw that Spike guy, sir. We could find out their origins, see if their numbers possibly date back to any of the alien races we've met. For all _these _people know, they may have been here since time itself."

"But 'time itself' may really be defined as 'when the Asgard placed the stargate here,'" Daniel said. "Which could lead to the question of if or why they've deemed it uninhabitable."

"Uh, I can sort of answer half of that," the Slayer said. She gave a sheepish smile when Daniel and Sam glanced at her as if realizing she was still there. "The Hellmouth has some mystical properties that are like aphrodisiac to baddies, I guess. Not only does it attract 'em, but they've been known to pop out of there, too."

Teal'c raised his eyebrows. "Is it not a stargate?"

"I . . . don't know what that looks like, so I honestly can't tell you," Buffy said.

"May we see it?" Daniel asked hopefully.

"That's probably not a good idea," Xander said, hesitant.

"Why not?" Sam protested. "If it's dangerous, we do have weapons."

"Things work differently around here," Buffy said.

"Indeed," Giles said. "There are certain ways to kill certain demons."

Jack's eyebrows shot to the middle of his forehead. "You mean there are more of those things?"

"Way more," Anya said matter-of-factly. "_Lots_ more."

"That's why we exist, kinda," Xander said, puffing his chest out. "We're the stay-up-all-night-and-research team. We figure out how to kill 'em, and Buffy does the hard part!"

"We're also the stay-up-all-night-and-eat-donuts team, too," Willow confessed.

"God bless those crullers."

"Ooh, the chocolate glazed ones are _really_ good," Dawn interjected with a nod.

"O'Neill, I do believe it's imperative that we return to the cave. We might be able to see what has become of the 'gate," Teal'c said quietly.

"Right-o," Jack said, clasping his hands together. He raised his eyebrows at Sam. "Carter! Do you by any chance know how to hotwire a car?"

"Ah, that won't be necessary, I assure you," Giles said, sounding a bit nervous. "I can take you."

"Plus, I kinda want to see what this stargate is," Xander said.

"Y-Yeah, by definition, it could be an obsolete hellmouth for all we know," Tara said meekly.

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "That's one thing I hope I don't have to consider."


End file.
